So Ive been MIA yet again... I guess juggling 50hours a week at work along with choir and dance practice and the many many many other things Ive signed onto is a lot more difficult than I imagined... Well aside form being super busy I've been pretty good. Nothing really to complain about. So here's a new situation that I'd like some input on. There's this guy (we'll name him John) who is single but goes on dates here and there, usually with the same person. That person, let's name her cutie pie, is now getting really into the guy and while she isn't ready for a steady relationship at this very moment, she has expressed to him that she could really she herself with him in the near future once she gets some things settled in her life and can focus on him. He likes the girl and all but isn't usually the "relationship" kind of man. So they just continue to do the dates here and there, phone calls sometimes but nothing really serious. Now the guy has a friend he knows from middle school and high school. This friend, we'll call her Jailbird (you'll find out why in a minute), has always been flirtatious towards him and she's expressed in the past how much she likes him but he never really thought of her that way. Today Jailbird is serving her last year of a seven year sentence in prison (we wont go into details) but has been keeping in constant touch with John through letters and phone calls during this whole time and actually John and her have strengthened their friendship during this time. So John finally goes to visit his old buddy one day and it was during this visit that he discovers that he has very strong feelings towards her. He didn't let her know although she clearly expressed to him that she feels closer to him than ever and wants nothing more that to be able to work towards being with him after she gets out of the pin and gets her feet on the ground. She knows that she wont be ready right away but she wants John and nobody else and is willing to work as hard as she needs to to make him happy. John explains to her that she needs not to worry about relationships when she leaves because she needs to focus on herself for a while and he also tells her that she is just a friend to him (although he is really trying to convince himself that that's all she is). After their visit John comes home to discover that his feelings towards her are definitely more than that of a mere friend. A confused John receives a phone call a few days later from an old fling and thats' just the name we'll use for her. She wants to see him and maybe hang out. He agrees. Now some history on this old fling: She and John met one night when they were both out with friends, they danced the night away, exchanged numbers and went on a dates, engaged in some "Physical activity" for a few months and John really liked her. But she told John that she was married, separated, but married. It did bother him at first but, with the amount of time they were spending together, he got over it. Then one day she had a talk with John and told him she wanted to try and work things out to avoid a divorce. He, although a little disappointed, said ok and he understood. Now she's back and the papers have been filed. She's been separated this time for ten months and is ready to move on and would want nothing more than to be with John. She's been thinking about him the whole time she was supposed to be working things out. And the result was... well things obviously didn't work themselves out. So she's back. And to get his mind off of JailBird he entertains the idea of maybe rekindling and old fling so they begin to talk and spend time together. Then maybe two weeks into it, mind you he's feeling old fling and thinking "maybe", Jailbird gives him a ring. She informs him that she misses him already and cant stop thinking about him. This stirs up all of the emotions he was trying to forget about in the first place. Now John knows that it doesn't make sense to make future plans with Jailbird but cant help but wish that its gonna work out, meanwhile Oldfling and John are starting something new. It makes more sense for him to make plans with Cutie Pie (which is the least risky for him) and he thinks it could possibly end up being something nice, but he feels like his heart is equally split between Jailbird and old fling. He knows the risks, the ups the downs and maybe the in-betweens but he cant help himself. Give him some advice PLEASE!!! what do you think? whats your opinion?
Its nice to be back,
~Arnesia Newsome
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