Dating Without Sparks

So its my first official Tea Talk night time blog. Its 12:22am and I cannot sleep, despite the fact that I have attempted to induce my body into sleep-mode by taking (natural) supplements. Melatonin to be exact, sometimes it works wonderfully and sometimes, well Im still awake :-/  Anyway I was talking to someone who is in a relationship that this person is no longer interested in. Its a fairly new relationship but in fear of hurting the second party's feelings, party number one has been hesitant about ending it. Our conversation got me thinking about myself and how I would handle the situation and as a matter of fact, I am kind of facing the same predicament. No, I am not in an actual relationship with anyone however, I have been seeing someone, dating, chatting, having fun but I can see that the guy is way more interested in me than I him. Once I noticed this, I began to distance myself from him in an effort to "ween" him from me in what I think is a subtle manner. Not working. I find that no matter how much I don't call or how unavailable I have become he is still very much interested. So what I want to know is how YOU would handle? Consider this : A perfectly respectful, sweet, generous, thoughtful, funny and not bad looking person asks you out on a date. You say yes and you guys have a wonderfully fun first date. So when your lovely friend asks you on date number two you have absolutely no reason to decline. Its another great time, but you notice that this person wanted to do things like hold your hand, maybe be a little more flirtatious (nothing wrong with that right?). What if you don't want the him/her to hold your hand, or to touch you in any way other than maybe a goodnight hug? The date is lacking the sparks to you but he/she seems to be feeling them from the door. Ok so now it gets tricky, you're trying to see if  maybe for some reason you just weren't feeling your date that day (although it went well) so when asked out on date number three you say sure! why not? But this time your date comes in for a kiss and thats when you realize that in no way shape or form do you ever want this person to even attempt to kiss you ever again! Now remember, this person is awesome, great, almost perfect, so why is there such a problem?  Now you're thinking "what the hell is wrong with me? Why don't I like him/her?" You want to be this person's friend now, no more dates but he/she totally thinks that you're into him/her (even though you kindly rejected the kiss attempt). Add this into the equation, you've been in the same position where you were totally into someone more than they were into, you know how it feels when that person doesn't wanna give you the time of day(it sucks) so are you completely in the wrong if you just keep your mouth shut about it and entertain the person with a few measly dates here and there? I mean, you both have fun (until it comes to the incredibly awkward part of rejecting the intimacy attempts) and you don't want to make anyone feel the way you've felt in the past (rejection hurts).  what do you do?  How do you not hurt their feelings? What do you say to them? "Im sorry but I just don't like you like that"? "please stop calling me everyday"? " Don't text me everyday either"? those things just don't seem like they'll do so tell me, how do you manage?

Comments are welcomed.

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~Arnesia Newsome