John has a fling with a Cutie Pie JailBird

So Ive been MIA yet again... I guess juggling 50hours a week at work along with choir and dance practice and the many many many other things Ive signed onto is a lot more difficult than I imagined... Well aside form being super busy I've been pretty good. Nothing really to complain about. So here's a new situation that I'd like some input on. There's this guy (we'll name him John) who is single but goes on dates here and there, usually with the same person. That person, let's name her cutie pie, is now getting really into the guy and while she isn't ready for a steady relationship at this very moment, she has expressed to him that she could really she herself with him in the near future once she gets some things settled in her life and can focus on him. He likes the girl and all but isn't usually the "relationship" kind of man. So they just continue to do the dates here and there, phone calls sometimes but nothing really serious. Now the guy has a friend he knows from middle school and high school. This friend, we'll call her Jailbird (you'll find out why in a minute), has always been flirtatious towards him and she's expressed in the past how much she likes him but he never really thought of her that way. Today Jailbird is serving her last year of a seven year sentence in prison (we wont go into details) but has been keeping in constant touch with John through letters and phone calls during this whole time and actually John and her have strengthened their friendship during this time. So John finally goes to visit his old buddy one day and it was during this visit that he discovers that he has very strong feelings towards her. He didn't let her know although she clearly expressed to him that she feels closer to him than ever and wants nothing more that to be able to work towards being with him after she gets out of the pin and gets her feet on the ground. She knows that she wont be ready right away but she wants John and nobody else and is willing to work as hard as she needs to to make him happy. John explains to her that she needs not to worry about relationships when she leaves because she needs to focus on herself for a while and he also tells her that she is just a friend to him (although he is really trying to convince himself that that's all she is). After their visit John comes home to discover that his feelings towards her are definitely more than that of a mere friend. A confused John receives a phone call a few days later from an old fling and thats' just the name we'll use for her. She wants to see him and maybe hang out. He agrees. Now some history on this old fling: She and John met one night when they were both out with friends, they danced the night away, exchanged numbers and went on a dates, engaged in some "Physical activity" for a few months and John really liked her. But she told John that she was married, separated, but married. It did bother him at first but, with the amount of time they were spending together, he got over it. Then one day she had a talk with John and told him she wanted to try and work things out to avoid a divorce. He, although a little disappointed, said ok and he understood. Now she's back and the papers have been filed. She's been separated this time for ten months and is ready to move on and would want nothing more than to be with John. She's been thinking about him the whole time she was supposed to be working things out. And the result was... well things obviously didn't work themselves out. So she's back. And to get his mind off of JailBird he entertains the idea of maybe rekindling and old fling so they begin to talk and spend time together. Then maybe two weeks into it, mind you he's feeling old fling and thinking "maybe", Jailbird gives him a ring. She informs him that she misses him already and cant stop thinking about him. This stirs up all of the emotions he was trying to forget about in the first place. Now John knows that it doesn't make sense to make future plans with Jailbird but cant help but wish that its gonna work out, meanwhile Oldfling and John are starting something new. It makes more sense for him to make plans with Cutie Pie (which is the least risky for him) and he thinks it could possibly end up being something nice, but he feels like his heart is equally split between Jailbird and old fling. He knows the risks, the ups the downs and maybe the in-betweens but he cant help himself. Give him some advice PLEASE!!! what do you think? whats your opinion?

Its nice to be back,
~Arnesia Newsome

happy transformation

 I just want to take this time to apologize for my lack of posts. I've been juggling two jobs and about 70 hours of work a week... I thought I could keep it up but I just simply am NOT cut out for this... Ive got to decide what Im going to do. Anyway, just an update on the things that I've blogged about most recently. #1 Mr. No Sparks and I have not been on a date since I made the post about him an don, he hasn't read the blog. I just simply declined his last attempts to go out in a nice, FRIENDLY way. So He's got the message that were are going to stay in the friend zone and boy am I glad to have that taken care of. #2 Mr. Hard To Convince is still living up to his name. Its been cool with him but he's been keeping it on the friend tip. We flirt a little, ok maybe I flirt a little, but all is cool and good with him. And between you and me, I think that there will be a break in his hard front in the near future. #3 My First boyfriend... well we've been spending a little time together talking and becoming friends again. Learning each other and its been really nice. He's even been building a small friendship with my sister, who was not a very big fan of his when we were dating. Btw, we kissed and neither one of us stopped it or even tried to for that matter. It was totally unexpected, but it happened and well, I'm not sorry it did. What will come out of it? I don't know but Im not aiming for anything to happen nor will I push anything away should something blossom out of it. All I know is that Im very happy to see the transformation that has taken place in his life. He's a brand new man and I can see us being friends for a very long time. #4 Little Boy Blue. I am happy to tell you that shortly after I made the post about him, he called his mother, his brother and his sisters. It had been over six months since they had even heard his voice so you can imagine how they all felt. He expressed how much he wanted to be home and that he would gladly testify in front of a judge. He now keeps in regular contact, phone calls a few times a week. I know that a phone call may not mean much to some, but in this case it means the world.... And that's it for my updates. I'll be writing again in a few days. Comments anyone?

Ta ta for now,
~ Arnesia Newsome

The Case of Little Boy Blue

So wtf is wrong with our legal system!? I mean I don't get it sometimes. So here's the sitch: There is a little boy "Little Boy Blue" who's mom, until last month, had custody of. He is 14 right now and she's had custody for his whole life. His father, we'll call him "Sorry Excuse"  has been fighting to get custody since he was around five and he has never won. He was ordered to pay child support, which he's never actually paid. He was in arrears so deep that he was arrested multiple times for not paying child support. well anyway, every summer  little boy blue is ordered, by a judge, to go to NC to visit is father for a month after which he is to be returned to PA where he lives. Let me add the fact that he's never back until about a week or two after the school year begins. Anyway, back and forth back and forth his father takes his mother to court for custody, all the while not paying child support or helping with any expenses whatsoever, this poor little boy is forced to testify at the request of his father. The custody hearings usually end the same. Around two years ago his father begins to be nice to the mother, the court dates aren't as frequent, he's using nicer language and they are able to communicate without it ending in words of war. Then one day Sorry Excuse asks the boy's mother to drop the backed child support so he could get a loan, he promised to give her some money to help one of her older children pay tuition ($2000) she agrees and no surprise, she never gets anything. So now he's out of the hot water because she fell into his trap. So one year ago Little Boy Blue and his mother are at church, he walks to the store around the corner with his cousin and the cousin returns but he doesn't. Cousin said that Sorry Excuse told Little Boy Blue to get in the car and that he would call his mother later. Upon hearing this, the boy's mother begins franticly calling his cell phone and his father's.. Both continuously go to voicemail without  ringing. This is the last time she sees her baby boy. Sorry Excuse finally calls around midnight, "Im keeping him" is what he said. She goes to the courthouse, lets the people there know what happened and files for a hearing. They give her a date that is FIVE months away!  meanwhile, she hasn't spoken to or seen her Little Boy Blue. Then she gets a letter in the mail summoning her to court, Sorry Excuse has somehow gotten an expedited hearing for custody, he wins temporary custody until her court date. As soon as she gets home theres a new letter in the mail summoning her again, this time she is being sued for child support. The hearing is in one month. well she just left that hearing in which Sorry Excuse was conferenced in on the phone, she is ordered to pay him the same amount that she is paying her mortgage company each month. He claims not to have a job (yet he has custody). How can all this happen while she is still waiting for her court hearing? what can she do about this? how will she pay her bills?

Comments please
~Arnesia Newsome

A Beautiful Moment

Hello readers! Hope all is well with you today. Me? Oh my day was going so so until a few minutes ago, but I just had a visit from someone that changed it to very good. So here's the sitch: My very first boyfriend, whom I haven't seen in about six years, just left my house. Now I wasn't sure if I really wanted to see him because he was responsible for my very first heartbreak. But the visit turned out to be very delightful and I am so happy that he asked to come by. Back in high school we dated for about a year and of course I was madly in love with him(he was my first) but we ended up breaking up and he was really kind of a jerk towards me. I'd rather not revisit those moments but fast forward a few years, he got married, went into the army, lived in Hawaii and now he's back here in Philly. I got a friend request from him on Facebook a few weeks ago, I accepted and he wrote me a message that went kinda like this "Nelle (my nickname) I know that this may be a little too late and you probably don't really care but I just wanted to apologize to you for any harm that I have caused you in the past. I never wanted to hurt you. Im so sorry." I told him it was ok and that the past was in the past and his apology is accepted. And from there we were messaging back and forth asking how we were, talking about our families and our current life situations. We exchanged numbers and then he asked if he could come by, all he wanted to do was give me a big hug. And at first it didn't work out, we had conflicting schedules but he made it out today. And Im very happy he did. We spoke about his current situation, his past, his plans, my plans, and he kept apologizing and telling me that I didn't deserve the treatment I got. He thanked me for having a forgiving heart and we embraced. And it was a very beautiful moment. Perhaps we can be friends now *smile*

Comments, as usual, are welcomed.
~Arnesia Newsome

just go away

So lately Ive been having this feeling that wont go away.. and every single day it gets a little bit stronger. Its a feeling that I almost cant explain.. or maybe I can, but I just don't understand it i guess. Anyway, I want a companion.. like you know, someone to chill with, laugh with, go out and have a good time.. but I want sparks with it, I wanna feel like "maybe this will lead to something more, maybe I can stop dating around now.. maybe, this is it".... but lately, no one that I wanna feel this way about seems to wanna feel the same about me, why is that?....I feel like, maybe, Im looking in the wrong places, at the wrong people or maybe it just wont happen, whatever it is I don't like it and i wish this feeling would just go away. Whats happening to me?... ugh... mushy stuff(feelings) sucks... anyway it's now 1am and i have to work soon so I guess I'll attempt to sleep now.... Comments anyone?

A New Day in A New Year

hello there! I realize that I am a day late but Happy New Year! Hope you all made it through last year safely and are planning on making the most of this one. So I told you that you'd be updated on a few things #1 I went ice skating for the first time and well, I survived! I even ended up learning how to go backwards (check me out). At first I was not into it at all but after a run around the rink I got my groove in it. Its a great time for family and friends alike. Try it out someday. #2 I spoke to my brother about his friend. I asked him how he felt about it and what advice he had (if any). He told me that it isn't really that big of a deal to him(which I already knew) and that he thinks that we would be a good fit. He said that of all his friends, he definitely cosigns this one the most and I cant help but agree with him but guess what? Mr. "Hard To Convince" isn't convinced at all. He says that its too weird for him and that he sees me still as his boys little sister :( Bummer right? And While I wish that he didn't feel that way there is nothing I can do about it. So all I can do is forget about it (which sucks because I was really looking forward to getting to know him). Anyway, today is a new day in a brand new year and I cant wait to see what its gonna bring next. comments anyone?

Ta Ta For Now,
Arnesia Newsome

Mr. Hard to Convince

Good morning to you all and Happy New Year's Eve! What are your plans for today? Me, well I am going ice skating for the very first time. It should be quite exciting. I'll let you know how it went when I return (hopefully no bad falls) but for now I want to get your opinion on something. Ok so you have a party one day and at that party you see someone that you really want to go and talk to. Now, you're familiar with this person because you've seen them a few times a year for maybe the past 10 years. But the last few time that this person has been in the same edifice as you, you've noticed that you pay more and more attention to them. You've become increasingly attracted to them. So at this party (encouraged by a few drinks) you decide "Im gonna go over there and give it a shot"(get it? shot at a party lol). You do and you two hit it off, exchange numbers and are keeping in regular contact. And through this contact you discover that it is not just the fact that this person is the perfect height with the perfect smile and its not just the fact that they have an education, but their personality is awesome and they make you laugh. You just really, honestly like him/her... Ok so now you're thinking "where is this going?"... Now, here's what I left out: This person is a very close friend to your older brother/sister. You both are feeling each other but he ("This Person") is a bit apprehensive about dating his friend's little sister (me). So you feel like you're doing all the chasing but the person isn't completely biting the bait. He shows interest(the first phone call lasted about four hours) and says that we're on the same page but also that this is a delicate situation and he isn't convinced that he should go for it. I agree with the fact that it is delicate however, I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying it out. And I so want to see him, like actually spend time alone on a date, watch movies or even just have a cup tea (btw Im drinking vanilla carmel again). How can I get Mr. Hard to Convince to give this a try without feeling wrong about it?

Of course Comments are welcome.

Ttyl,
Arnesia Newsome